..stop me if you've heard this one. Names have been changed to protect the innocent and/or extremely stupid.
The first thing I see, is Team A, laughing, screaming in caps lock font about how horrible T.O. is.
It's going to be one of those drafts.
I realize my good fortune and see I have the second overall pick. It's a 10 team league, so this isn't so bad. I figure maybe if someone makes a blunder I'll waaaait it out and get another good back to go with what I figure to be Steven Jackson.
Five minutes to draft time, and Team C is telling everyone to leave Tomlinson until third so he can draft him because it's his favorite player. I proceeded to lift a car and break it over my face.
The draft is starting and low and behold, the first player off the board is......Tomlinson. Mean words, angry intent and bad vibes permeate throughout the war room. The anger from Team C is short lived, as I without hesitation select Steven Jackson with the #2 pick, and it becomes his turn.
He selects Shaun Alexander. Then, as quickly as I've seen a 4th overall selection all year, the next owner promptly and without a second thought snatches up Larry Johnson, probably wondering what good deed was done in a past life to deserve such a gift.
The rest of the first round goes as normal, with what had become inevitable smack talk from the usual suspects, until the 7th selection, where Team X, selects Terrell Owens. You can imagine the words exchanged after that pick. I think to myself oh well, one more running back down the line. This should be easy.
Round 2 begins, and with the 4th overall selection in round 2, Team X selects......Randy Moss.
Sigh...i begin wondering just how badly i can take this poor fool in a trade. The rest of round 2 proceeds, with Peyton Manning, Steve Smith & Marvin Harrison being taken. Travis Henry falls within 2 spots of me and i start hoping against hope that i can get a player who should have been taken many picks ago.
Travis Henry is selected mere seconds before I had my chance to grab him and not look back. I've done many a draft, for many a year, and no matter how often it happens, when the owner one spot before you takes your pick, it is the most deflating, disheartening, disappointing part of fantasy football, other than losing. You swear to seek revenge but as usual it's all forgotten by mid season, if not before.
So here I am, wondering....pondering...do I take Reggie Bush, Clinton Portis, Willis McGahee? I was positive i could steal Brandon Jacobs later, so i selected......Cedric Benson. A pure gut move. One owner would later ask me, who is he? I scan through the many smartass remarks possible, but answer only with "Last I saw, he played football". He'll know.
Round 3 approaches and i select Tory Holt. No questions here, really. It's a standard league and I need a WR, and he's as consistent as they get. Team X selects Tom Brady. Team C selects Carson Palmer.
The QB rush is on. Funny thing about drafts, is you can prepare to your heart's content but if you get a small handful of reachers, you almost must become one too. Alot of draft strategies are prepared with the mindset that you won't be drafting amongst the fantasy equivalent of a short bus.
Round 4 weaves downward and with my second to last pick, i opt for Lee Evans over Javon Walker. Both fine selections but I was in a bettin' mood. It should be noted before my pick, Team C sleected the Chicago defense, and Team X picked Jeremy Shockey. Sigh...
Round 5, usually time to take the guys some "casuals" don't know about.....however, I've a feeling that was the case all along. Hines Ward goes to Team C one selection after I decide to go for Brandon Jacobs. Baltimore is later selected by Team X.
Round 6 comes and goes with surprisingly no real stupid picks. Perhaps a few teams waited too long to have Deuce McAllister starting for them and Edgerrin James, so I, already packing three starting workhorses, opt for Marshawn Lynch.
Round 7, and the receiver pool was dry thanks to some overzealous owners and I decide to take a risky pick on Braylon Edwards. Meh. Next round i snatch Carnell Williams. Solid for a later rounder i suppose.
Round 9 I realize quarterback is the flavor of this draft room, and I need one quick before I'm forced to use Ben Roethlisberger or Daunte Culpepper. To my surprise, Mike Vick is available. Dog fighting scum or not, he will get points. Love those rushing numbers. I take him and hope to maybe score a backup someone's forgotten about. I also hope the bastard doesn't get suspended.
Round 10, 11 and 12, full of the usual picks you'd expect by now, and I select Terry Glenn, Jay Cutler and Jason Hanson at kicker.
The last 3 picks i use to take a huge chance on Jerry Porter, because if he doesn't pan out, I'll have someone I feel ok dropping, Minnesota (who I won't start weekly, I'll play DEF matchups and Porter will help me do that with the spot he leaves open) and Tony Scheffler, a TE in Denver who has the tools to be a great TE and Cutler loves him. Besides, it's TE, I can just scan the wire and make a quicker educated guess on the first few surprise guys.
There you have it. Maybe in my "just for kicks" type of leageus I'll stick to customs. Public leagues have the flaw of being all too public.
And isn't it funny, that Team X and Team C will probably both be sporting facial expressions vaguely similar to their team names?
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